Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: Stages of life by Maria Kiwan
- Aspiring Meds
- Mar 31, 2021
- 5 min read
Many powerful, iconic women in medical history have changed the world. Women have created history in many different ways. Stories, facts, and creations that we will never forget. But have you ever heard of the “5 stages of grief”? Let’s take a deeper look into the life of its creator, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
Who is she?
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, born on July 8, 1926, in Zürich, Switzerland, was an American psychiatrist who made significant contributions to the field of psychiatry. As she was one of the first to change the way the world views the terminally ill, she also pioneered hospice-care, palliative-care, and near-death research. Kübler-Ross was the first individual to put the lives of terminally ill people into the public eye.
Kübler-Ross came from a simple worker's family. Throughout her early life, she was surrounded by numerous deaths, which influenced her perspective on death. She died on August 24, 2004, in Scottsdale, Arizona, United States due to natural causes.
Early/family life
She left home as a teenager, at 13 years old, to volunteer all over Europe, helping communities that had been devastated by World War II. She was married to her husband, Emanuel Ross from 1958 to 1976. She has two children, Ken Ross and Barbara Ross. She also has two siblings, Erika Faust-Kübler and Eva Bacher-Kübler. The three are all triplets, Elisabeth being the only non-identical sibling. At 16 years old, she left home after her father's attempts to force her to become a secretary for his company, since she was determined to become a doctor from a young age.
“We tend to often tend to ignore how much of a child is still in all of us” Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Education and work-life
Kübler-Ross moved to New York in 1958 to work and continue her studies, after graduating from the University of Zurich in 1957 and receiving her medical degree. As she was very passionate about the medical field, Kübler-Ross worked in Chicago as an assistant professor of psychiatry at Billings Hospital. In the early 1960s, she began her psychiatric residency at Manhattan State Hospital. She got a job at the University of Colorado School of Medicine in 1962. Her goal was not to portray a pathological person, but rather a human being who needed to be understood as she dealt with her disease and how it had affected her life. She stated to her students, "Now you are reacting like human beings instead of scientists. Maybe now you'll not only know how a dying patient feels but you will also be able to treat them with compassion – the same compassion that you would want for yourself". Kübler-Ross concluded her psychiatric training in 1963 and moved to Chicago in 1965. She also studied classical psychoanalysis in Chicago for 39 months. As an instructor at the University of Chicago's Pritzker School of Medicine, she hosted weekly educational seminars and interviewed many ill patients.
Experiences with death
Her mother’s love and attentiveness helped her overcome the complications that she experienced at birth weighing only 2 pounds. Elisabeth later contracted pneumonia and was admitted to the hospital at the age of five. This led to her first encounter with death when her roommate died peacefully. She believed that everyone must be prepared to face death with dignity and peace and that it is a necessary part of life. This was influenced by her early experiences with death that she encountered at a young age.
“For those who seek to understand it, death is a highly creative force. The highest spiritual values of life can originate from the thought and study of death.”, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
What has she accomplished?
She worked as a relief worker in France, Germany, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Czechoslovakia, and Poland after the war.
She started focusing and working on the treatment of terminally ill and dying patients suffering from end-of-life anxiety or depression, once she started working with psychiatric patients. She felt extremely overlooked by many doctors. “The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.” Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (On Life After Death, 1991)
Wrote a book where she created and described the five stages of grief in those who are dying.
The 5 stages of grief
The five stages of grief, also known as the Kübler-Ross model became a useful tool for professionals to better understand and treat dying patients. The five stages of grief:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
These stages were universally accepted and are one of “the most important psychological studies”. The five stages were based on her knowledge. These five distinctive stages helped people, mostly patients, learn about their weaknesses and strengths, how to cope psychologically with feelings, as well as trauma and loss. The “strength” is the effect of giving hope and indicating a successful change. Many believe that the five stages are too simple and don't account for the wide range of feelings people feel when they go through a change which is what is considered as the “weakness”.
The five stages of grief in depth
Denial: Denying the situation is our first reaction after learning about the death or terminal illness of a loved one. This is a defensive mechanism that results in immediate shock. Denying it gives you time to gradually absorb and process the news.
Anger: Once denial, isolation, and disbelief fades away, pain takes its place. This powerful emotion is extracted from our core and resurfaces as pain and anger. This stage and its symptoms can be aimed at objects, family, friends, and even strangers.
Bargaining: This stage is also known as the “if only” stage. To try and regain control, after feeling helpless, powerless, and vulnerable, we start blaming ourselves asking “if only” questions such as:
“If only I could’ve helped”
“If only we sought help sooner”
“If only I talked to them more often”
We all experience guilt, and we can become trapped in it at times.
Depression: In this stage, you'll experience feelings of sorrow, emptiness, regret, and dread. These emotions can be overwhelming and difficult to deal with. This may appear to be a silent moment.
Acceptance: Consolation at this stage by others is recommended, and it is classified as calm rather than happiness. This stage should not be confused with depression, as the two are very different. From the perspective of "it's time to move on". This stage is critical because it forces us to re-prioritize our lives and focuses on what matters most.
Books
She has created and written over 10 books including On Life After Death, On Grief and Grieving, Life Lessons, and more. But her most successful and known book goes by the name “On death and dying”. On Death and Dying, one of “the most influential psychological studies of the twentieth century” was published in 1969. This book gives us a deeper look into her theory: The five stages of grief.
“Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.” Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (On Death and Dying, 1969).
Movie
In the movie created in 2003, Facing Death: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, she looks back on her life, describing her childhood and work as well as how she is dealing with aging and death.
A year after the film was released, she passed away.
Kübler-Ross and her contributions have had a lasting impact on the field of psychiatry. By advocating for improved transparency, communication, and care at the end of life, Kübler-Ross changed the way people talked about death and the mentally ill. “There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from”, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
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Amazing article!
Awesome article!! Really well written! 😀